Night Views Of Our House

Sunday, September 25, 2011

u r my everything

My World at 12:47 AM

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Friday 2/9/11

Book out day..
finally cn book out after a tiring short week..
nwadays the training is really draining off all my energy..
with bcct boc blah blah blah..

apart frm ns..
tonight wasnt a gd night tho..
or rather it is an pissed off night..

1st of all..
i appreciate u for coming over to pasir ris to wait for mi..
n i am really happy to c u when i book out..
i aso noe u haf been havin tough days..
so i do intend to sayang u n hug u lots tonight..
u hit my thigh sho hard with ur hip..
i felt the intense pain tt is y i raise my voice to tell u it hurts..
but u did not care abt how painful i am n went on to fa pi qi..
shldnt mi b the one who suppose to fa pi qi..
u couldnt blame mi for raising my voice..
it is the same when i accidentally make u painful sometime..
den u raise ur voice n shouted at mi..
it is the same..
i felt the pain tt is y i raise my voice..
i haf no idea y iz u r angry n it is not mi who shld b angry..

n i try sho hard to hong u afterwards..
talk to u nicely..
but u jus treat mi lik shit..
i talk to u..
u like want reply jiu reply don wan den don reply..
what is this?
who am i to u?
ur friend?
to tell u the truth..
when i think of tt incident at the hosp..
i still fewl hurt n angry..
becos after sho long tgt..
u still tell ppl i am ur friend..
but i understand becos u r easily shy..
but u noe how hurt it is..
tt moment u told mi tt i could haf burst into laughter n tears..
but i control it...

after dinner i still kip on tryin to hong u..
but still the same..
thing became worst when my papa came to drive mi home..
i am further piss..
my mama ask mi to sit in front n not telling y..
when i reach home..
she say cos my papa ask mi to..
he say if i sit behind he fewl lik a driver rather than a father"-_-..
the worse thing is when i ask him y my mama ask mi sit in front..
he acted that he dono..
WHAT THE SHIIT!!!
u r jus makin mi don wan to ask u to come n drive mi home..
i would rather take cab or mrt home myself if tt the case..
furthermore..
by sitting infront n leaving my lao po at the back..
she became more piss..
"-_-

den it was a silent night..
i try to talk to u..
but it is still the same..
u don even bother ans mi..
i felt more angry when u say i owe u 100 kisses..
RAWR..
i am suppose to b the one angry..

zzzzz
what do u wan mi to do..
i try so hard baby..
u said i don gif u enuf sayang..
i wanted to gif u alot tonight..
y does it haf to b lik tt?
i noe its been hard this days..
n i was not there for u when u need mi..
but i am trin hard to compensate..
what else cn i do..
u noe whenever u r angry or piss..
whatever i do is useless..
do u really think it is my fault tonight?
do i haf to tahan the pain when u hit mi..
n force myself to smile?
i nvr tell u that my knees hurt frm all the trainings..
i nvr tell u becos i don wan u to wry..
but sometimes u r jus hitting mi too hard that i cnt tahan..
do u noe tt?

it is not tt i don wan to hug n kiss u when i see u..
it is jus tt stupid uniform..
I FKIN HATE TT STUPID UNIFORM..
so many restriction..
if i don obey..
den kena charge..
confine..
things become worst..
FK U NS..
NS IS FKIN DUMB..

My World at 12:57 AM

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

lol..

i really don wish to comment on this..

but i wanted u to know tt everythin i do is becos of u..

sat bbq..

what u said is correct..

if i don start the fire, den who will?

if nobody start the fire den we no food to eat..

i cn always sit there whole nite to accompany u..

i aso noe u r angry..

tt is y i am tryin so hard to start the fire quickly so tt we gt food to eat n cn pei u..

but 1 thing i don get it..

lookin at other cpl eatin happily..

follow each other ard anywher..

but u r jus sittin there waiting for mi to go to u..

y cant it b the other way round..

mayb startin of fire is dirty or u dono how to do it?

u cn still stand by mi to watch mi do n help mi out..

but u chose to sit there n wait for mi..

lol..

i not nt blamin here..

i noe u r tired n not in a gd mood..

i cn understand those..

mayb the care n concern i gave u isnt the one u wish for..

tt i have to say sry..

sry to haf fail u..

but i will still try..

no matter how long it takes..

cos i nvr give u up..

i love u..

muack..

My World at 12:22 AM

Sunday, July 31, 2011

diao..

really don understand..

when i talk to u softly..

u say i nvr talk properly..

i use my normal volume to talk to u..

u always ask mi y i shout at u..

den u still wan mi to talk to u louder..

lik tt how?

My World at 5:25 PM

Friday, July 15, 2011

today is a fk up day..

1st i gt strip frm my platoon ic position i dono y..

mayb too lousy..

bt i tot i was doin fine..

mayb becos i talk back to sergeant ytd..

haha..

den nxt is becos cnt book out today..

fk encik la..

shuo hua bu suan hua..

dono wrk sho hard for what..

den make us run in the rain somemre..

zzzz lo..

but the worst is still i cnt slp at my dear house today..

miss you shoooooooo much..

sian..

My World at 9:26 PM

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

wah this week is a tiring week..

only pass 3 days only my physical and mind really tired liao..

how i wish u were here..

give mi a hug when im tired..

give mi support when im tired..

n i aso wish i could do the same..

give u a hug when u r tired..

give u support when u need mi..

what a tough life ns is..

haiz :(

My World at 9:51 PM

Sunday, May 29, 2011

xia dao ni le bah lao po..
dui bu qi..
ke shi wo shi zhen de shen qi le..

it was ok at the beginning of the day..
my fault for waking up late..
end up haf to rush cos we wanted to eat mcdonalds..
or rather i want to eat mcdonalds becos of the cup..
it was all fine afterwards..

bt things became worse after a while..
i don like the way u talk to mi..
it jus seems like i owe u everythin..
n i deserve to b treated like this..
cant u jus talk nicely..

i realise that it wasnt alright the past few days..
as u did not say u love mi when i send u home..
i noe sth is nt right..
i was wondering what is wrong..
iz my fault agn?
bt den i realise it was becos u r havin menstrual..
n of cos naturally u will b moody..
then i noe everythin is fine..
im relieve when i noe..

so i decided i shld b mre tolerant today..
as i noe u felt uneasy for havin menstrual too..
i would nvr understand tt uneasiness..
therefore i haf to take a step back..
i really tell myself to be mre patient today..

i dono whether u noe i am angry with u or i am angry with maple..
i wont b angry with maple becos it is jus a game after all..
maple is jus the ignition of my fury..
i was alr v pissed and it started to pissed mi mre..
tt is y i punched the bedframe..
i am mad at u..
didnt u realise tt?

it all started when u started to talk to mi lik i owe u..
even a simple thing like gif u a lil mre space to lie down..
u haf to ask mi as though i don wan to gif u lik tt..
u shld noe i would haf given u mre space if u ask..
u do not haf to talk to mi like tt..

den playing maple..
what is the difference between i lvl first or u lvl first?
i mean y mus u b sho competitive?
mus u always win?
when i lvl..
the first u said was "lvl liao dono how to say ah????"
or "lvl alr still kill"
i don haf to tell u what kind of tone u use..
i mean u shld noe even if u r lagging behind i will always wait for u..
u don haf to win mi everytime..
wont u b tired?
tryin to win mi over everythin..
u haf to realise tt i am superior in some things..
likewise u r superior in some thins..
everyone is different..

den when my student talk to mi..
i am alr pissed off at the tone u talk to mi..
the tone u use is like u don trust mi..
cant i haf female friends?
cant i talk to any female friends?
it is not like i will betray u..
it is not lik i will flirt them..
after so long we r tgt..
u nvr trust mi..
so long i haf any female friends msg mi..
u will check my msg..
so long i talk to any female friends u will ask..
u nvr trust mi..
did i ever do tt to u?
did i use the tone ever to ask u..
y cant u jus trust mi?
iz becos i am libra?
even if i am libra doesnt meant i haf to b flirtacious..
even though sometime i may grumble..
but deep down in m heart..
u r alr the one i chose..
the one i wanted to b with..

cant u see i am alr angry with u..
the way u talk..
the way u acted..
didnt u realise it when i started sitting away frm u?
didnt u realise when i only talk when u ask mi sth n i ans u with a monotonous tone?
didnt u realise tt..

den came my frens..
y cant i talk to them?
its not like when i talk to them i wasnt trainin at all..
i did train..
when they ask mi qns..
naturally i will ans..
u always say i treat friend better than u..
iz really true?
u say i am always goin out with my frens rather than u..
u always say my friend r mre important than u to mi..
iz really true?
do u even understand mi?
i am someone who cherish relationship..
be it love relationship, friendship, kinship..
i cherish them..
i did not think any one of them is mre impt than another..
all to mi is impt...
do u understand tt part of mi?

i tot i could tolerate all..
i mean u r not in a gd mood..
i shall be mre understanding..
but didnt u noe there is a limit to my tolerance?
or shld i say a limit to all tolerance?
this time u really crossed the line of my limit..

den when u ask mi y the auras of battlemage doesnt disappear like others..
of cos i noe what u r askin..
i noe that u want to noe y maple had make it so strange..
y it is not like other skills..
bt i am not maple gm..
i don create the skill..
how would i noe y?
the ans i gave was the ans i wanted to say..
it may not b the ans u wanted..
but shldnt u at least respect mi by taking it as another ans..
n not ending the qns lik i am talkin nonsense n not answering ur qns..
jus becos it is not the ans u wan..

u noe this few days i've been wondering alot..
becos of the way u acted..
i was so relieve when i noe u r havin menstrual..
becos i noe things r still alright..
during the pass few weeks in wrk place..
they r talkin abt relationship..
mayb becos of randy's past relationship n ZL n yuen..
i haf been listening to them closely..
paying attention to whateer mistake they haf done..
n tell myself not to repeat the same thing as they did..
cos i noe those r stupid thing that shldnt had been done in the first place..

u noe u r always been the one i love..
like i said..
deep down in my heart..
u r alr the one..
the one whom i chose..
the one i would wish to marry..
the one i would wish to live with till the end of my life..

bt i couldnt stand it if u don trust mi..
shldnt it b trust between the both of us in order to make thins right?
shldnt it b communication between the both of us in order to make thins right?

i shall now head to bed..
tmr will b another gd day..
i will not b angry anymre as we had promise each other that everythin shld b forgotten after a nap..

i love u..
n this love will nvr change..

My World at 12:31 AM